Love Story: Father’s Day

As I previously said, every good love story, and good meal, starts with a tasty side-dish. But neither’s complete* without a hard, stiff drink.

Part 2: The Spirit of Love.

© B. Mac’ 2017

Mr. Scotch was a man’s man, strong and straight to the point. He could make you laugh one minute and start a fight the next. But he aged well and mellowed.

He always understood what mattered most in life, the simple things. He also understood what mattered most to an Indian woman — control!

But the thing that makes Mr. Scotch special, that makes him one of a kind, is that he’s always giving someone a reason to smile. At least that’s what my mother says.

Well those aren’t her exact words. No she usually says, “Go talk to your father he’s giving me a headache.”

All I can say is, thanks Dad for always giving us a reason to laugh (whether it’s with you or at you)!

💝Happy Fathers’s Day Y’all!💝

Oh and also,

To Be Continued….

Ω

*The final part of this Love Story Event will drop soon, see you then.
And if you missed the first part now’s your chance to catch up!

∗∗∗

Well the risk paid off y’all. My Mother’s Day card and/or post was a rousing success (hey my target audience was pleased)!

This funny Father’s Day card is less risky, in that my dad doesn’t read my blog. He doesn’t know how to (how to find my blog**, I mean).

But on the up side that means the pressure’s off this week. On the down side, though, I didn’t revolutionize the greeting card industry (I know you’re just as surprised as me).

But as I perused the aisles of my preferred greeting card store, note I didn’t peruse any halls (namely because the shop I go to is all walls), I didn’t find a single ′Funny Indian Father’s Day Card′ nor a selection of ′Funny Father’s Day Cards about Food′ (which I thought had a better than decent shot of actually being stocked).

So while that day still lingers somewhere in the not too distant future I’ll keep writing these posts.

Besides it’s cheaper than buying a card my father won’t even understand (**but he can find a card, he just can’t always find his sense of humor).

Happy Father’s Day to one and all. Now — Drink Up!

Illustration by B. Mac’
© Indian Macgyver 2017

Indian Macgyver – Sick Day

Dear Internet,

Please excuse Indian Macgyver from posting this week.

He’s been horribly under the weather due to an allergy induced sinus infection and he’s not, despite what you may have heard, pulling a Beuller.

Sincerely,
Chicka, Chicka-Chick-Ahhh

Ω

© Indian Macgyver 2017

True Life Horror Story

When you’re young nightfall is a scary time. Floorboards creak, every creature is stirring including a mouse, and there’s a decidedly ungentle rap, rap, rapping on your bedroom window.

But the older you get the more you realize sunrise is way scarier than anything night can hold a candle to. After all nighttime is all anticipation and excitement, secrets and shadows, while daylight is all about putting as much distance between you and your hangover as possible. Or am I alone on that?

But when night sinks in reality slips away. And when day breaks reality comes crashing down all around you. Life’s true horror is that it waits for no one, like rush hour.

And real tragedy, real terror, always strikes when you’re most vulnerable. Real horror scars you to the core. There’s no way to prepare yourself, to gird your loins. You might as well be in the shower holding a bar of soap.

I should know, it hit me this morning as I was getting ready for work. Barely awake, before the first espresso, still I knew my time had come.

Few events in life leave you so shaken, leave you feeling so alone. It’s akin to your first rejection, or when you realize your dog knows just a smidge too much about you, or when it finally dawns on you this was just your first marriage.

Today I saw that my ear fuzz had become full-fledged wiry ear hair. The kind of hair that could be mistaken for Andy Rooney’s eyebrows or hair that will make my Teen-Wolf-Twenty-Years-Later Halloween costume a little too authentic. Yes friends, I’m a 30 something year old man coot.

But hey, you know you’re in a good horror story when there’s no escaping the hairy situation.

Ω

© Indian Macgyver 2017

Love Story: Mother’s Day

Today is the beginning of a love story. A love story that started simmering 44 years ago. And this particular histoire d’amour is a lot like good Indian cooking — it’s got heat!

It’s also gonna take time*, another hallmark of good Indian cooking.

Now, without further ado we begin like all good love stories, and good meals, do with a tasty side-dish.

Part 1: For the Love of Ghee!

© B. Mac’ 2017

Mrs. Samosa was, and still is by some accounts, a woman bursting at the seems with goodness. But don’t mistake her for a pushover or a popover.

No, she was woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. She also knew the quickest way to an Indian man’s heart — ghee!

But the thing that makes Mrs. Samosa special, that makes her one-of-a-kind, is that you don’t always know what she’s hiding inside. At least that’s what my father says.

Well those aren’t his exact words.

No, he usually says, “You’re mother’s a good person deep down. She just doesn’t always show it.”

All I can say is, thanks Mom for always being full of surprises (and definitely never boring)!

💝Happy Mother’s Day Y’all!💝

Oh and also,

To Be Continued….

Ω

*The next part of this Love Story Event will drop in June, see you then.

I’m posting this early so my mother has time to…cool off, shall we say. Trust me better safe than sorry when you’re handling samosas right out of the fryer.

Why even risk it, you may rightly be asking yourself. Because I like it — the post I mean (though who doesn’t like a little risk now and then).

It’s my Mother’s Day card: simple, funny, and real. And it’s not one you’re likely to find in a Hallmark store. Sure you’ll find ′Funny Mother’s Day cards′ or ′Funny Mother’s Day cards from Sons.′ But those just don’t hit the spot.

I want to walk into a store and browse through, ′Funny Indian Mother’s Day cards′ or ′Funny Indian Mother’s Day cards from from Good-Looking (and Single) Indian Sons.′ I’ld even settle for ′Funny Mother’s Day cards about Food′ because those sound like cards with potential.

But, admittedly that day’s far off. Those genres are simply too niche for anyone but me to demand. Which is why, until that day comes, I write these posts.

Plus, when I think about it, nothing I’ve written has ever made my mother angry. What I’ve said, well now, that’s a different post for a different day!

Happy Mother’s Day to one and all and if you find a card you think I’ld enjoy be sure to let me know.

Illustration by B. Mac’
© Indian Macgyver 2017

One Reason for Everyone to Celebrate Cinco de Mayo

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, or the 5th of May (not Mexican Independence Day), I’ll be enjoying cinco margaritas (responsibly of course).

For the record, I won’t but I could. Also for the record, I don’t need a reason to appreciate a good* margarita. But if I did this week would suffice.

In fact, the last few months would be all the reason I need to become an agave farmer. Though given the choice I’ld rather be a margarita farmer.

© B. Mac’ 2017

But I’m not here to complain. I’m here to celebrate like General Zaragoza and the citizenry of Puebla de Los Angeles ostensibly did on May 5th, 1862. I’m guessing they partied like it was 1899!

But more important than how they partied, is why they partied. After all the Battle of Puebla didn’t end the Franco-Mexican War. The war didn’t end for another 5 years.

Cinco de Mayo doesn’t celebrate the end of something. It’s celebrates the beginning of something. The Cinco de Mayo celebrations kept the Mexican people fighting, it kept them moving forward. Cinco de Mayo celebrates an unstoppable momentum. Or at least that’s how I like to see it.

It’s in that spirit that I’ll raise a glass or 5 tonight. I’m not celebrating a date in history or a symbolic military turning point. I’m celebrating a spirit of change universal to one and all.

And to spur that change I’ve set 5 goals for this month, or Cinco Goles Para Mayo, I want to accomplish. They’re not grand in scope but they’re symbolic and full of hope.

Hope that I can grow and change. Hope that I’ll keep moving forward.

🎊 Cinco Goles Para Mayo 🎊

  • ◊ Start Swimming
  • ◊ Write Daily, Post Weekly
  • ◊ Read A Book A Month
  • ◊ Recommencer French Lessons
  • ◊ Finish These Goals 😉

Happy Cinco de Mayo Y’all!

Ω

 

*For the record you know you have a good margarita if the following 3 things are true:

  1. It’s sour.
  2. It’s refreshingly satisfying.
  3. It’s soon to be followed by a few or slew more.

P.S. If you enjoyed today’s illustration be sure to check out this post for more good clean fun!

Illustration by B. Mac’
© Indian Macgyver 2017